When Gollywompers Hit


So what’s the matter with you anyway?

Are crocodiles biting at your toes?

Do flautists squeak to loudly for your ears?

It’s gollywomper time. It surely is.

But what are gollywompers anyway?

The Oxford English Dictionary says

A gollywomper isn’t anything.

It’s non-existent. Nothing. Not a thing.

It isn’t to be found in any of

The twenty volumes sitting on my shelf.

But for a non-existent, nothing word, it sure

Describes me perfectly today.

To say I have a megrim isn’t quite

The thing. A melancholy fancy? No.

And certainly a migraine is just wrong.

And collywobbles? No. My stomach’s fine.

A sailor says a gollywomper is

A kind of sail that isn’t one thing or

Another, and I guess that just about

Describes what’s going on. It’s nothing. It

is neither one thing or another. Still

it’s something when the gollywompers hit.


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