So what’s the matter with you anyway?
Are crocodiles biting at your toes?
Do flautists squeak to loudly for your ears?
It’s gollywomper time. It surely is.
But what are gollywompers anyway?
The Oxford English Dictionary says
A gollywomper isn’t anything.
It’s non-existent. Nothing. Not a thing.
It isn’t to be found in any of
The twenty volumes sitting on my shelf.
But for a non-existent, nothing word, it sure
Describes me perfectly today.
To say I have a megrim isn’t quite
The thing. A melancholy fancy? No.
And certainly a migraine is just wrong.
And collywobbles? No. My stomach’s fine.
A sailor says a gollywomper is
A kind of sail that isn’t one thing or
Another, and I guess that just about
Describes what’s going on. It’s nothing. It
is neither one thing or another. Still
it’s something when the gollywompers hit.