“Gadzooks! That likes me well. Pistachios!”

I number this among my favorite lines.

I know. I know it is ridiculous.

Gadzooks! It sounds like something you would find

In Shakespear in the middle of a scene

With plastic swords: “Gadzooks! You’ve marked me well.

It is a pleasure, sir, to fight with you.”

And while the plastic swords are clunking on,

The villain’s top concern is not the fight

But how to keep his mustache on his lip.

Imagine. Late at night. Deserted street.

A mugger comes. “Gadzooks” you holler out.

“Pistachios!” What craziness is this?

The guy would think you’re certifiable

And either laugh, or run away, or shoot

himself for picking such an one as you to rob.

“Gadzooks! That Likes me well, Pistachios!”

Has Austen, Twain, or Melville such a line

So able to be used at any time

In any situation? Well? Gadzooks!

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