(If you’ve been a student you have probably sat through some variation of this lecture and had the experience of being in a class taught by this instructor.)
I know. It’s boring. You can take a pass
today. Forget about the lecture. Sleep.
It doesn’t matter if you are awake
or not or sleeping at your desks with eyeballs glazed.
In fact, I think that I’d prefer them glazed . . .
in aspic. I digress. But that’s all right.
My lecture is about a seismic shift
in language. Nothing of importance. Dumb.
So fiddle with your phones. Pretend to care.
Or don’t. It doesn’t matter either way
for nothing makes a difference in your lives.
But anyway, in case there’s anyone
who cares, imagine you are speaking French
or Spanish. Have you been to Italy
and listened to the way the words are formed?
It isn’t necessary that you know
what’s being said. It’s how it’s being said.
The vowels are weird. They haven’t got a clue
about the way they are supposed to sound.
An I is E and A is awful. Flat
and blah. And as for how an O or U
is spoken, well not one of you would understand
the way they worked or sounded. You would need
a Babel fish implanted in your ear,
and even then you’d probably be lost.
It’s fortunate you’re living now not then.
That cataclysm’s over. Probably
you needn’t worry how the letters sound
right now, and who cares how they sounded then?
I think you’re all asleep. I’m outa here.