Wildlife Sanctuary

I often wish it really wasn’t true,

but I’ve a big, official looking plaque

that says a wildlife sanctuary’s here.

It isn’t that I wouldn’t like to kill

the squirrels that decimate my crops.  Last year

I didn’t get to eat a single plum

or apricot.  The peaches gone as well.

I wouldn’t mind them eating some if they

would leave the rest.  But no.  They eat them all,

and what they don’t the birds come in and eat.

I even went and bought myself a gun

convinced the NRA was right about

defending what was mine, but I soon learned

I had a better chance at hitting them

if I would throw the stupid, bloody gun.

I’ve got a dog so poison bait is out.

But Addy’s worthless.  If I order, “Kill!”

she simply looks at me and wags her tail.

So, anybody want a bright green plaque?

It’s free.  Of course you’ll have to take the squirrels

and birds as well.  And don’t forget the deer

and the raccoons and rabbits and the skunks.

You’ll have to take the snails and gophers too.

Just leave the spiders, lizards, butterflies,

and snakes; and bees, you’ve got to leave the bees.

And certainly the frogs will have to stay.

So how about it?  Do we have a deal?

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